From Paul Rogers -Wow, The singer from Bad Company is a SPAMMER now ?

Dear Payment Collector,

HAMPTONS International is a professional real estate agents and local
property intelligence. Recently, We got involved in some of the world’s
most appealing residential developments outside United Kingdom. We have
homes in wonderful destinations from city centres such as New York, Los
Angeles and Ontario to costal properties and golf resorts including
Portugal,

We hereby request for your hand in partnership to act as our payment
Agent/Collector who shall receive payment from our New Customer(s)/Buyers
as well as Tenants in United States, Canada and other parts of Europe. You
shall be entitled to 10% of each payment you receive on our behalf and
this shall be a continuous process.

Upon receipt of this requested information, we shall provide you with the
necessary details of how to become our Payment Agent/Collector. For
official purpose, get back to us urgently via same email for futher
procedure.

Yours Sincerely,

Mr. Paul Rogers
Manager – International & Development
HAMPTONS International

Wow, whoda thunkit / Paul Rodgers…the singer from Bad Company is in on this SPAM? Noooooo

“Greetings in the name of God” – So Where the f*ck is the Benin Republic Anyway ?

El- Elyon Guest House
Akpakpa Cotonou
Benin Republic.
Hello,
Greetings in the name of God.
You will be surprise to receive this mail from a total stranger like me. Anyway, I got your contact in my search for a reliable and honest person abroad who will assist me in this unbearable situation of mine.
I am Kady Traore by name. I am 23 years old. The first child of the four children of late Colonel Bakassa Traore who died after being tortured by the security agents of the present government in my country, Cote d’ Ivoire.
My father with two of his colleagues honored an invitation for a dinner by the French ambassador and was invited by the security agents of president Laurent Gbagbo. They were accused of divulging some vital information of government of President Laurent Gbagbo to the traitors (France) They were mercilessly humiliated and tortured and detained. After their release, my father was rushed to the hospital and was kept under the care of his private doctor. His doctor tried all he could to save his life but he gave up the ghost after spending four days in the hospital. You can view this web site for more information:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/4649533.stm
My father, knowing very well that he would not survive, called all of us while lying on his sick bed and he instructed us to leave the country for Benin Republic where we are staying presently as our country is no longer safe for us. He brought out an envelope and gave to our mother and inside the envelope was a written note of what to do when we get to Benin Republic. We left for Benin Republic after his burial and the instruction from him was that he deposited the sum of USD$12.5m (Twelve million five hundred thousand US dollars) in a bank in Benin Republic and made me the next of kin to the fund.
We have already gone to the bank to make confirmation and the bank manager advised that we should look for a trusted foreigner as the receiver of the fund in a bank account abroad because of the fact that the fund was deposited in a domiciliary account of which I would only be accessible to it when I am 25 years.
I am seeking your assistance in the following ways.
(1) To provide a bank account where this funds would be transferred into.
(2) To serve as our guardian and help us with investment of the funds for our continued existence.
(3) To be our guardian for the furtherance of our studies either in your country or elsewhere in the civilized World.
We are willing to offer you 25% of the total funds as compensation for your efforts after the successful realization of the funds in your custody.
We are looking forward to hearing from you, as we will furnish you with all the necessary documents and moral directives to facilitate the claim by you without any breach of the law.
Be informed that we have the full co-operation of the bank manager as he has advised for proper confidentiality since this involves such a huge amount of money.
My brother, Allassane serves as our spokes person for he is the only person that writes and speaks English amongst us as he had his education in an American school in Ghana.
Your prompt response is highly expected.
Thanks,
Ms Kady Traore.
E-mail: kadxtx@yahoo.fr

My “Prompt response is highly expected” …. Well, I guess, being that you SPAM me “in the name of God”, I guess it SHOULD be expected. So, where is the Benin republic ?

ATTN : HONORABLE CONTRACTOR

ATTN: HONORABLE CONTRACTOR,

Sequel to the secretive arrangement in regards of the Shipment of your
contract sum, part payment of Seventeen Million United States
Dollars(US$17,000,000.00), I wish to inform you that all necessary
modalities have
been automatically concluded and have left C.B.N office to the Courier
Services today by Express Cargo Flight.

Note carefully the content of the crate is “MONEY” but I did not
disclose it to the Courier Services a s Money, rather I informed them
that
the crate contain Vital “DIPLOMATIC DOCUMENTS” belonging to my client
(That is you).

Furthermore, the weight of the consignment is 15.5kg On No account
should you disclose the content of the Crate with the Courier Services
for
fear of Betrayal so do not allow them to know that the Content is
money.
In the meantime, contact the Courier Services as soon as you receive
this E-mail via their email address:
(info.scarletexpressdiplomatic111@yahoo.co.uk)

For you to know the actual situation with the consignment and also give
them your address where the consignment will be Delivered and then get
back to me on email (dr.davidmarkson@yahoo.co.uk ) as soon as possible
So that I can give you the key code
number of the consignment and also the vital document that will prove
you
rightful owner of this consignment as soon as they arrive.

Congratulations and remain blessed.

Best Regards,

Dr. DAVID MARKSON.
C. B .N TREASURY DIRECTOR.

Submitted by “Tutu Sue” Larkin – Thanx TutuSue for this passing on this wonderful bebop, avant garde twist on the English Language and blatant extortion attempt !

Hello from Mr Song Li Le – can you hold my 19 million dollars for me ?

Dear Friend,

My name is Mr. Song Li le I work with the Hang Seng Bank.There is the
sum of $19,500,000.00 in my bank”Hang Seng Bank”, Hong kong.

I wish to make a transfer involving a huge amount of money worth
$19,500,000.00 .I do solicit for you assistance in effecting this
transaction.

I intend to give 30% of the total funds as compensation for your
assistance.

I will notify you on the full transaction on receipt of your response
if interested,and I shall send you the details and necessary
procedures
with which to make the transfer.

Kind Regards,
Mr. Song Lile.

Reply me here please.
Email: songlile407@yahoo.com.hk

Man, think of all the money I could make doing this ! Gee Thanx Mr Li Le, I’d be GLAD to hold your 19 million dollars for you…I’m SURE there’s nothing illegal or immoral being attempted here, and I look forward to giving you all my bank account info…NO PROBLEM !

Big Spam # 1 – “Hello from Sarafiner Bamba”

The first installment of “The Big Spam” comes from
Sarafiner Bamba
, Avenue 16 Rue
Treichville Abidjan Ivory coast,

Hello dearest one,after going through your profile i decided to contact you to help me out of my problem,however is not mandatory nor will i in any manner compel you to honour against your will,but i promise you that you will never regret helping me or knowing me, i hope and pray that our friendship will be a happy and lovely happy one,I am Sarafiner Bamba 20 years old girl now, i was born on the 1of january 1987.to the family of Mr and Mrs

Bamba my father name is Mr Emmanuel Bamba,he is a very wealthy cocoa merchant who based in ACCRA and ABIDJAN respectively,and my mothers name is Chief Mrs Esthel Bamba,I am there only child,when i was a kid i went to a private schools and things were going on well for me and my parents till when i was in high school when my mother died on the 18 ST october 1995.

My father took me so special because i am motherless,and he shower all his love on me and promised me that he will never take another woman because he did not want any problem for me,but has fate may have it,I lost him mysteriously after his last business trip to France last year,though his sudden death was linked or rather suspected to have been masterminded by my uncle who travelled with him at that time,But only God knows the truth,on the day he died in the hospital he called me on his bed side that i should be very careful with his brothers and sisters and/his business partners that they are the people that planned and
poisoned him acording to the doctors report.

He also and told me that he kept a sum of $10.500 000 dollar in a bank in Abidjan Cote D’ivoire,and used my name as the next of kin in depositing of the fund,he also explained to me that it was because of this money he was poisoned by his business partner and his big brother my uncle and that i should seek for foreign partner in a country of my choice where i would transfer this money and use it for investment purpose, such as,real estate investment or stock market investment,plesae,i am honourably soliciting your kind assistance as follows,in case if he did not survive the sickness.

1)To provide a bank account where this money will be transfered into.

2)To serve as the guardian of these fund,since i am 20years old girl.

3)To make arrangement for me in your country to continue my educational career and to

procure me a residential permit in your country.I am inclined to offer you 15% of the total sum as a mode of compensation for your effort after the successful transfering of these fund to your nominated account overseas.Pleasei will be very happy if this transaction will be concluded as soon as posible so that i can come over to your country and start my new life and also finish my education, I am expecting to hear from you as soon as possible,please reply me back to my private box at May Almighty God bless you as you do care for me Amen.
Best regard
Sarafiner Bamba

Essayez le Tout-nouveau Yahoo! Courriel –
Pour voir un aperçu du panneau de lecture de courriels.

Aloha and Welcome to “The Big SPAM!”

Aloha and Welcome to The Big Spam.

After getting so many of these emails, I finally really decided to read one to see how rediculous these concocted stories really are. They’re almost as entertaining as they are annoying….almost.

So, I decided to start a blog and post them. Why ? They’re rediculous. They’re an obvious ploy to get your bank info and other info that can be used to rip you off, and fuck up your life, and, it really makes me wonder…. Who actually is taking the time to write and distribute these frikken things ? Just think, someone is sitting in a room somewhere thinking of ways to rip you off, and THIS is what they come up with. Where ARE these people ? WHO are these people ? And lastly, has anyone actually ever been taken by this pile of horsecrap ?

Anyway, I figure if myself, and other people post this stuff on here, we’ll get a really fucked up journal of creative writing, from people who have nothing but BAD intentions. This is a testament to how something great (ie: the internet) can be turned into something really bad. So, I give you. THE BIG SPAM.

Dear readers. I HIGHLY encourage you to send me your “Big Spams” and I will post them here. I guarantee we’ll have enough for an entire book in about a month. So please send your Spams to :

spamjournals@gmail.com